By Genoa Barrow | OBSERVER Senior Staff Writer

Theodore Walker’s mental health journey began before he took his first breath. 

“I was born with a prenatal injury,” Walker says. “There was a prenatal rupture of the amniotic sac. That’s what led to me having developmental disabilities.”

The circumstances of Walker’s birth led to a lifetime of challenges, including frontal lobe damage and multiple – albeit delayed – mental health diagnoses. These challenges have deeply impacted his life today at age 63.

“I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age, which caused damage to the frontal lobe portion of my brain and caused me to have impaired executive functions,” Walker says.

ADHD, which stands for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, is a common neurodevelopmental disorder usually diagnosed in childhood. Children with ADHD may have trouble paying attention and controlling impulsive behaviors. Impaired executive functions disrupt a person’s abilities to pay attention, remember details, multitask, problem-solve, process information, think abstractly, organize, and strategize. 

“It is a disorder that’s problematic in every aspect of my life. It affects academics, esteem, socialization, and vocation,” Walker says.

Walker has difficulty maintaining employment, as staying focused and multitasking are hard for him.

“I have not held a job in several years,” he says. “With the complexity of my disabilities, it’s difficult for me to go out and be competitive in the employment market.”

Due to poor executive functioning, Walker has had significant difficulty interacting with others and fitting in socially.

I’ll Always Love My Mama

Back in the 1960s, ADHD was known by just the last two words of the acronym, hyperactivity disorder. 

“Somewhere along the line, I think in the late ’80s, early ’90s, they referred to it as ADHD,” Walker says. “For technical reasons, I always say that I’ve had it since I was 6 years old because the symptoms were prevalent from the time that I was 6 and still remain now that I’m in my 60s.”

Walker’s mother tutored him throughout the years he attended Sacramento-area public schools. She also fought for him to receive needed services and resources at a time when many schools barely had any for students with special needs. When he got older and “out on his own,” his mother was still there, helping him comprehend the paperwork that comes with being an adult and helping him communicate with home repair service providers and the like.

“My mom was my advocate throughout my entire life,” Walker says. “She was my advocate up until 2022. She had a stroke that year and her health declined. Then she had a heart attack and she unraveled and that’s kind of what took her out.”

Walker was in the room when his beloved mother passed away in October. 

“I need her for everything because I have impaired executive functions. When a person has intact executive functions, their thinking can be very flexible. When a person has impaired executive functions, their thinking is very inflexible. It’s hard for them to track what they read. It’s hard to track what they hear. They can’t copy and take notes in class.

“When I was attending college, I had tutors, I had notetakers along with that. I had cognitive shutdowns. I had seizures. It’s impacted every aspect of my life. It took me literally 10 years to get my bachelor’s degree.”

At one point, he lost his financial aid because he couldn’t maintain the required units.

“My parents had to support me to get through school and would help me with my rent and so forth,” he recalls.

Today, Walker lives independently with the help of Social Security and his younger brother. Both their parents are gone now, but they’ve left Walker with lessons to help him navigate his daily challenges. When he was 17, his father was hit by a drunk driver on the highway near Cal Expo, leaving him in a full-body cast and having to undergo months of grueling rehabilitation, including learning how to walk again.

“My father was the most courageous man I ever knew,” he says.

Walker has worked up the courage to share his journey with behavioral disabilities and mental illness to encourage others.

“Never give up,” Walker advises.

“Always remain positive, resilient, persistent, and perseverant,” he adds. “Those are the values that my father instilled in me.”

Support Matters

Doctors began suspecting Walker had autism spectrum disorder between the ages of 30-32. Then, it was simply called Asperger syndrome or Asperger’s. According to Autism Speaks, Asperger’s is a previously used diagnosis on the autism spectrum. In 2013, it became part of an umbrella diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. Typically strong verbal language skills and intellectual ability distinguish Asperger’s syndrome from other types of autism. Challenges can include anxiety and depression.

“I had a doctor who suspected that I had Asperger’s because of certain behavioral characteristics that he noticed and it was officially confirmed last year that I have autism spectrum disorder. It’s always been prevalent,” Walker says. “I showed certain characteristics of it. I rock. My thought processes sometimes can be quite labored. I have impulsive actions. I have an interest in things that can be extreme, repetitive activities.”

Obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD, is also a part of his profile.

Walker credits the men’s ministry at his church and a bimonthly support group, Black Men: Alive and Well, for helping him. Leaders and fellow participants understand, whereas others haven’t, he says.

[They don’t] understand the Black man’s experience,” he says of non-Black mental health providers. “They’re really not in a position to relate to African American culture. What is lacking in mental health (care) is that there are not enough doctors to be representatives in the mental health industry to address our issues. So whatever therapy or treatment that is offered, I feel it’s not going to be that significant, it’s not going to be that helpful because they’re not in a position to relate to my experiences.”

Walker learned to rely on his faith, and on church elders more than clinicians. The elders, he says, have offered comfort and support, especially since his mom’s passing.

“I’m getting support from my church. I’m getting support from close friends. Having those close ties helps me to stay grounded and to stay connected to the people who are going to be a positive influence on me. I’ve never felt that about mental health clinics here in Sacramento,” Walker says.

“Head Space: Exploring Black Men’s Mental Health” is an OBSERVER’s special series.This project is being reported with the support of the USC Annenberg Center for Health Journalism’s 2024 Ethnic Media Collaborative, Healing California. Senior Staff Writer Genoa Barrow and The OBSERVER are among the collaborative’s inaugural participants.