By Genoa Barrow | OBSERVER Senior Staff Writer

The OBSERVER asked Black men age 18 and older to complete a community-engagement questionnaire titled, “Where’s Your Head At?” Questions gauged where Black men’s heads are on topics ranging from whether they feel free to express their emotions, to family histories of mental illness and the challenges and triumphs they’ve faced along their personal journeys to wellness.

While the response was small in terms of quantity, the quality was mighty. Respondents offered open and honest answers to questions about mental health and being Black men who are trying to be well for themselves, their families and the wider community.

“I realize through therapy that a lot of my challenges come from within,” said Charles Cotton, a 42-year-old musician.

“I had to accept myself and deal with personal challenges in order to see a better future for myself. Therapy is continuing to help me have a positive outlook on life and relationships. I have found that through therapy that most things can be overcome if we’re honest with ourselves and others. My mental health has been more healthy because of personal boundaries being in place. I did not have these before entering therapy,” Cotton continued.

Darnell Dumas, 39, a community partnership manager, shared the impact of his incarceration.

“I was sentenced to 15 years in prison at the age of 20 for committing a robbery,” Dumas said. “I didn’t know it at that time, but my brain started to go through a change, mostly because of the new living circumstances I found myself in. I didn’t realize that I would have to carry these issues and pains for all these years.

“After returning home, I had never felt so good, so healthy and so happy in my life. Everything was all very exciting and fresh for me. The problem was, I hadn’t prepared myself mentally on being an adult in society. For a lot of areas of my life, I was still that 20-year-old that was sent to prison.”

Dumas admits feeling overwhelmed at times and that he’s still trying to figure out how to deal.

“It’s been a wakeup call and a shock for me to know that I am struggling mentally and socially because of my experiences,” he said. “These experiences and struggles have led to enormous stress and worry for me.”

There is hope. Many said they’re speaking about their journeys in an effort to help other Black men overcome the stigma related to mental health and mental illness.

Paul Kaiser, a 30-year-old who works for the Greater Sacramento Urban League, shared his truth in being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder, and learning acceptance.

“I always struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I could remember, but I still denied the diagnosis. A year or two later after some traumatic events and deeper work in therapy, I entered a manic episode that lasted three months,” Kaiser said. “I had to rebuild my life from square one, but in the process of losing everything, I also gained more than I could ever imagine.”

Here are some questions and responses from a few questionnaire respondents:

Anthony Graves, 35

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

Lack of mental health resources and/or a Black man’s unwillingness to go to mental health resources.

What challenges are you battling or have you overcome?

I’ve overcome my inability to hold onto a job. I’m battling against my anger over my having gone 35 years without getting proper and complete mental health help.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with life/responsibilities? How did/do you deal with those feelings?

Yes. I stayed up late watching TV and doing things around the house. I also talked it out with others. Also, I felt I did not know how to deal with my feelings in a good way.

Damien Harris, 40

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

Mental health and work life balance.

What challenges are you battling or have you overcome?

Finding a reason to live.

What brings you joy?

Quality time with people who legitimately love and care about me, and food adventures.

Paul Kaiser, 30

What’s the biggest issue facing Black men in 2024? 

Purpose and meaning.

Have you ever self-medicated/used substances to deal with issues/problems? If so, where are you with that?

I am five years sober.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with life/responsibilities? How did/do you deal with those feelings? 

Yes. I take time to rest. I make a plan/strategy to overcome them. I talk to my wife or friends. I go to the gym. I recenter my perspective.

Aron King, 37

What’s the biggest issue facing Black men in 2024? 

We aren’t able to stay boys for long. Society sees us different. We lose our innocence at a younger age and are forced to grow up faster. This takes a toll on our mental health.

What challenges are you battling or have overcome?

I feel there is a greater responsibility because “I made it.” I carry the responsibility with me daily. I feel a duty to my community (my people) to help them succeed. This leads to me overworking myself.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with life/responsibilities? How did/do you deal with those feelings?

Yes. I have to take a break and unplug. Step away. Take a mental health day from work or sleep in. I often get on track when I return.

Ronald King, 67

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

Finances and discrimination.

What challenges are you battling or have you overcome?

I overcame substance abuse.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with life/responsibilities? How did/do you deal with those feelings?

Yes. Prayer, counseling and talking.

DeAngelo Mack, 44

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

Being free to not fit in a box.

When was the last time you cried? What brought you to tears?

In the last month. A very well-created, touching piece of art.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with life/responsibilities? How did/do you deal with those feelings?

Learned calming practices and things that bring me joy, like hiking, golf, eating well.

Ryan McClinton, 38

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

I don’t believe there is one single issue and if I had to name one, it’s our collective mortality rate being so short.

What challenges are you battling or have you overcome?

Childhood trauma; community trauma; systemic trauma; systemic racism; classism; lack of culturally competent mental health services; unaddressed familial trauma and lack of support there; workplace trauma; imposter syndrome; depression; anxiety; and self-doubt, to name a few.

As a Black man do you feel free to express your feelings? How do you express your feelings?

No. Generally with a journal and recently more with deeply trusted relationships.

Zachary Miller, 49

What challenges are you battling or have you overcome?

Handing personal mental health issues.

As a Black man do you feel free to express your feelings? If so, how do you do so?

Yes. By talking.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with your life/responsibilities? How do/did you deal with those feelings?

Yes. I talk to a psychologist.

Jabari Rahotep, 33

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

Standards of society. Standards that don’t align with our innate/traditional values.

What challenges are you battling or have you overcome?

Social media addiction, imposter syndrome (overcoming), lust (overcame), and food addictions (overcame).

When was the last time you cried? What brought you to tears?

Within the last month. A conversation with my wife about how we view mental health hospitalization as an unspeakable event, but any other injury/illness that requires hospitalization (is viewed) as understandable.

Jerist Roberts, 41

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

Lack of effective communication and support from each other first, community next.

How do you express your feelings?

My podcast (“94 Feet With Coach JT”), writing, talking, to peers, and family.

When was the last time you cried? What brought you to tears?

Within the last month. Thinking about deceased family. 

Theodore Walker, 63

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

Sustaining employment and family structure.

What challenges are you battling or have you overcome?

Finding suitable employment and the loss of my mother.

What brings you joy?

Cooking, writing music and riding my bike.

Mark Freeman, 60

What’s the biggest challenge facing Black men in 2024?

Being valued by other people and Black men themselves.

What challenges are you battling or have you overcome?

I’m battling depression/anxiety, ADHD and overthinking. I have overcome substance use in my younger years.

When was the last time you cried? What brought you to tears?

My wife’s illness and my son’s experience with autism.